BALANCE YOUR COURAGEOUS EFFORT
This exercise is especially focussed on reaching a win / win outcome with someone where you would normally end up in a win / lose, lose / win or a lose / lose outcome. A win / win situation is possible if you exercise Courageous Effort and there is sufficient Trust. Trust in yourself and trust in the other person.
Here is the exercise
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- Take an upcoming event today or tomorrow where you want to reach an agreement and where you expect some resistance
- Write down your preferred outcome
- Write down the other person's preferred outcome
- Understand that with sufficient Trust more possibilities will arise during the conversation, as two know more than one.
- Speak out the intention that you will maintain a Balance between your Courageous Effort and Trust
- Speak out the intention to first investigate the other person's point of view by asking questions
- Write these questions down and take them with you
- When the conversation starts
- Speak out that your goal is to reach a win / win outcome. To create true synergy.
- Try to truly listen and understand. Don't react directly instead ask another question. This can either be a follow-up question or another question from the list that you prepared
- Keep on investigating the possibilities by listening to the needs of the other. You will probably experience Freedom in the possibilities that start to arise
- If you feel the solution is suboptimal postpone the decision. Retreat in silence and continue the conversation another time
- If you feel the solution is optimal go with it and celebrate your win / win outcome together!